Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What is it that make it so hard for people to talk to each other and how to overcome emotional war

it's been quite a while since I last blogged,
quite a long time actually,
i guess i'm not that expressive of my thoughts do I?
Well,that's the title of this very post for the day
Why is it so hard for people to talk to other people???

In my opinion,the first reason would be because
the way some people are brought up
in.Let me start from the the movie "A Thousand Years of Good Prayers".In the movie, the daughter character,Yanlin, was brought up in an environment whereby her parents didn't discuss much of their problems,even the critical ones.For example Mr. Shi don't even bother to talk to his wife about his rumoured love scandal with another women and how he ended up working as a clerk instead of a rocket scientist that he claimed to be.All this secrecy has led Yanlin to believe that it is a norm for Chinese people to keep their problems to themselves. This may be the reason why she was so reluctant when her father put an effort to have a chat with her about the pain that she had experienced.This situation is true in the real world we're living in.If we find it hard to express ourselves at home, then how are suppose to talk to people at work,and be heard? So be more talkative,chit chat with your parents,sisters and brothers,it'll make you to be use to it.

Besides that,some human beings are just scared that other people might sense something wrong in a statement that we made.That is the
feeling insecure about ourselves that made us to hold back from what we were about to do.I talk from my own experience here.Sometimes, during secondary class,it was just better to zip up my mouth than saying something that might cause other people to think I'm stupid or some sort.I was afraid what people might think of me back at that time.But now in college,I learned that this isn't the best way of learning something.This fear is something to be worried about.The same thing happen to Mr Shi.He was scared of the reaction of his wife if he tell her about his false rumuored love scandal with one of his colleagues(although the scandal might be true and he just doesn't know it's love).Because of that,he just buried this secret deep in his heart and hoped that no one would ever try to dig it up back.

Generation gap
also is one of the main reason to cause this problem.When two person of different generation tries to talk,it's hard for them to find the topics of interest that seems appealing to both partiesThis thing happens to everyone of us,isn't it?We put an "understanding " facial expression when our fathers talks about politics,we skipped the business section in the news paper and go straight to celebrity section, and even our parents would resented or maybe hesitate a bit when we try to follow the nowadays trend,such as owning numbers of gadjetsat one time,or going for movies at night...

Yanlin and Mr Shi face this problem everytime they try to bond,especially on the dinner table. Yanlin was busy with her work and going out with friends for movies whilst her father was figuring out hard of who would be her future husband and the life that she should be leading by then.This has made Yanlin to feel irritated by her father for not trying to understand her situation,and has actually widen the gap between the two.

In the movie,Mr Shi also faces some
emotional war and it had clearly affected others life(Yanlin and her mother).For me,the best and the only way to fight this war is to open up your heart.Share the suffering with other people to lessen the burden.This practise will indirectly make you feel relieved and free,as you've finally open the darkest secret that had been in eating yourselves for decades..It will also stop other people from speculating something is wrong with you..(People nowadays enjoy sad stories of others,unfortunately)..

That's all for now, bye2:)


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